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Lost between insanity and intellectualism
Continued rambings of a tree-hugging geek
Why? Oh, why? *cries* 
27th-Jun-2005 04:53 pm
First they made Lord of the Rings into a movie. I knew right away that they would butcher the plot; I saw the movies and I mourned for the books. I pined over the absense of Tom Bombadil, Glorfindel, the Houses of Healing and the Scouring of the Shire and loathed their changes to the plot.

Tolkien messageboards suddenly became swarmed with fangirls obsessing "OMG [Frodo/Legolas/Merry/Pippin] is liek, soo cute". The fantasy community was transformed from a geeky niche to a "hip" thing to do, a place to swoon "Orli" and rite liek dis. I still shudder whenever I see Grey Company "elvish". The movie was marketed to the extreme, and it hurts to think of it.

Then they made another perennial favourite of mine, Ella Enchanted, into a movie. They removed the book's plot and gave it a new one, and assigned a Mary Sue to the role of protagonist. A part of me died when I saw the movie. I had read that book at least a hundred times before seeing the movie; now I cannot bear to pick it up.

As if it wasn't enough, they gave The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy similar treatment as well. I still shudder at how they turned a sci-fi comedy into a crap, non-canonic romance between Trillian and Arthur.

A Chronicles of Narnia film also appears to be in the works, however, I admittedly never cared much for those books and don't really mourn their loss to Hollywood and the fangirls.

Earlier this year, it was announced that The Lions of Al-Rassan was to be made into a movie too. I'm scared for its plot. IMDB gives this as the movie's plot outline: In Al-Rassan, during the Christian re-conquest of Moorish Spain, two princes vie for the love of the same woman.

Anybody who has read The Lions of Al-Rassan can immediately tell you that the movie will be horribly off-plot. Al-Rassan, yes, is based upon Moorish Spain. But it is not Moorish Spain. It is Al-Rassan. And it is re-conquered by the Jaddites, not the Christians. Furthermore, the last bit is way off; neither Ser Rodrigo or Ammar are princes, they are mercenaries; Ser Rodrigo is also a constable, and Ammar is also a poet. Ser Rodrigo is married. He never fights for Jehane's love; he is happily married to Miranda. I wont say anymore as I would be giving away spoilers, but there is a lot more that is wrong with that "plot". And seriously, if I can point out that much wrong with one sentence, I fear for the entire movie.

And now? His Dark Materials will be joining the list. The blurb about it on Wikipedia has me shuddering already: In an interview published on the internet in December 2004, Weitz indicated that the film would make no direct mention of religion or of God - two of the key themes of the trilogy - a decision attacked by fans of the novels.

They're taking out two of the most important themes of the trilogy. They're taking out two of the most important themes of the trilogy. They're taking out two of the most important themes of the trilogy. They're taking out two of the most important themes of the trilogy. They're taking out two of the most important themes of the trilogy. Do I need to repeat that some more, or is my emphasis enough? I don't think I even need to say more than that. It's plainly going to be yet another plotless Hollywood bastardisation of a good novel, marketed beyond reason and then worshipped by an army of pre-pubescent fangirls writing Mary Sues on Fanfiction.net.

I shudder for the future of fantasy literature. Last time I did this rant, I said, "What's next? His Dark Materials?"; my prediction was unwittingly correct. I'd say, "What's next, the Wayfarer Redemption?" but I don't want those books ruined, either. :(
27th-Jun-2005 11:23 pm (UTC)

How can they even MAKE the movie without mentioning religion? wtf?!
27th-Jun-2005 11:24 pm (UTC)
I know! *mourns*
27th-Jun-2005 11:27 pm (UTC)
Oh, I feel your pain. *mourns*
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